Stop Thinking

I don’t think I realize that I do it, or how much stress it puts on my body, but I stress; I stress so much. I am a chronic worrier. I see the scary side of the future and I overthink bad consequences. I focus, and focus, and focus on problems and get too overwhelmed to find solutions. This is a problem.

When I become too focused on a problem, when I worry and obsess about all possibilities and the size of my thoughts, I retreat, and not necessarily to a good place. I avoid, and I watch TV or read articles or eat another chip, and before I know it, I’ve spun myself into a web of unbearable stress.

Today as I journaled, I heard the voice of God in my heart: “Did you ever think that maybe I am calling you to do exactly what you are doing?” What a thought. Maybe I don’t have to stress about my future and figure out what the next step in my life should be; maybe the future God is calling me to is peace.

Why is this so hard? Because it all goes back to the overactive mind- the thoughts that race a million miles an hour. Even though we may be stuck in a lack of action, our brains push on. And we think to the point of exhaustion. And when we’re too tired from thinking, we try to shut it off by redirecting ourselves and diverting ourselves with mind-numbing activities.

I was called today to turn off my brain and embrace silence. I was called to lie down in a comfortable position, close my eyes, and stop thinking. I haven’t done that in months- no wonder I’m so stressed! I paid attention to my breathing. I witnessed thoughts instead of accepting them, and as quickly as they came to me, I let them float away. I felt deep, quenching, absolute peace, in my heart, in my brain, in my soul, in my body. My entire being, suspended in the most delicious darkness, the most satisfying silence. I couldn’t drink enough, and allowed myself to continue to be in this state.

Encouragement: try this. I want to help you- I want you to experience this life-changing exercise. I don’t have to know all the answers; I just have to let go and accept what God wants to give me- what He wants me to share with others. There’s a time for action, and a time for rest. Do you need some rest today? Please take it. As I opened my Bible for today’s readings I could not believe what I saw. The Gospel reading, like the cherry on top, like the love letter it was meant to be: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” –Matthew 11:28-30